I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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