I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
