:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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