Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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