hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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