How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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