May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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