You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize