i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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