This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
