I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
