there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
