Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
