"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Of course I have a pirate flag
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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