Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
