How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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