He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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