ADVERTISEMENT

• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I want your puppy

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I meant pussy

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I would rather you take my puppy

  Fav 34 1743 5568

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook

  Fav 36 10689 1223

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.

  Fav 9 3986 1431

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"

  Fav 9 4675 1331

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.

  Fav 4 1799 811

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.

  Fav 1 1037 713

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level

  Fav 4 620 1338

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.

  Fav 0 713 853

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.

  Fav 2 741 586

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.

  Fav 0 1043 581

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.

  Fav 1 912 448

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.

  Fav 0 76 18

  share tweet
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  I'm drunk and he's still weird.

  Fav 0 10 52

  share tweet
  

• (510): View more from California

  the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros

  Fav 0 23 2

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.

  Fav 0 42 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize