One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
