that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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