Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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