id be glad to
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
