ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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