JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Randomize
