mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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