Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
