The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
