Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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