i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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