Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Found the puke drawer
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
