He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
