Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This girl is more easily done than said...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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