The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize