beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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