he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Drake has all the answers
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
