1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
