There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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