Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
