Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
