You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
