I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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