I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
