He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
PANTIES FOUND
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
