Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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