You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
