I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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