4 words: hood of his car
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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