I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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