Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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