how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
