dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have aggressive nipples.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
