I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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