I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
