I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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