Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
