so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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