I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
