Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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