mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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