It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
