I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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